COACHING AS A JOURNEY OF CHANGE
I first encountered the concept of coaching in 2008. It was discussed in almost all sectors that managers needed to go beyond traditional methods and acquire coaching skills. At that time, I was working as a human resources manager. From the program I attended to see exactly what coaching skills were and how they differed from other management approaches, three main topics stayed in my mind: “active listening,” “asking powerful questions,” and “letting go of judgments.” Even when listening to an employee you think you know well, being able to hear what they’re saying beneath the surface, asking questions that serve to understand the other person’s thoughts, behaviors, and even needs, rather than automatically providing answers you already believe in, and letting go of the accumulated judgments over time were important coaching skills.
In the following years, I had the opportunity to learn and experience various techniques and approaches focused on personal and systemic development, such as coaching, mentoring, facilitation, and more. All these teachings began with looking inward before turning to the external world; I would listen to myself first, then ask myself “real” questions, and chase after the “real” answers instead of the inner voice saying, “I already know.” These were processes that helped me understand myself and others in relationships.
As a coach, it’s beneficial to keep the transformation within yourself in mind when accompanying the client’s journey. In this relationship, there is no one who “knows everything”; to accompany the journey is to shed light on the paths sometimes unseen in the shadows, reminding the client of different ways, and helping them hear their own voice.
One of the fundamental principles for the solid foundation of coaching services and for the healthy continuation of the relationship is “trust.” Over time, this concept takes on its true meaning between the parties; another principle supporting it is “confidentiality.” Respect for the client’s privacy is the most important factor that increases trust in the relationship.
And perhaps as important as these two is “voluntariness.” Whether it starts as an individual’s decision or as part of a corporate program, like every personal development journey, the willingness of the client is essential for it to serve a true purpose.
And it should always be kept in mind that the owner of the agenda in this journey is the client. Every step is shaped by their priorities and needs, and each session provides an opportunity to address many aspects of their personal strengths, resources, dreams, concerns, barriers, and many pieces of their life.
Coaching is a flow that continues not only during the sessions but also between them. Action plans are formed through its inclusion in real life and practice. Intentions and decisions for every trial or behavior change move from a theoretical level to action, and thoughts come to life. Otherwise, it is not very possible to change situations that have been entrenched for years, which we break free from by saying “this is how I am.”
Change in coaching begins with looking within and being aware. Questions like “who am I, really?” and “what do I want to be?” accompany the entire process, followed by listing as many options as possible. The viewpoint laced with excuses beginning with “but,” which holds us back from these options, is the saboteur of the coaching process, just like all other development flows. Therefore, the practice of being able to ask open and powerful questions, which I shared at the beginning, opens the doors to possibilities. Within those questions lies a space that contains all our potential and richness. After awareness and options, the last step is action. Regardless of how much we talk, think, and plan, the change comes from taking action. I remember the sentence I heard in a program at the moments when I stop myself: “The universe applauds action, not thought.” By trying, we test our limits and see what we can achieve or what hinders us. This, as a new moment of awareness, opens the doors to new areas of movement.
I liken the steps taken during the coaching process to assembling a multi-piece puzzle. As change steps are taken for each of the issues intended to be addressed at the beginning, the puzzle approaches completion. As life goes on, we continue to encounter new discomforts, areas of transformation, and areas we need to focus on, as well as being proud of the steps we have taken and the changes we have made.
At the end of the coaching journey, seeing what the client has put in their personal bag and their enthusiasm to carry the change into the next stages of their life is, in my opinion, one of the most satisfying moments for a coach. This two-way journey is valid for both the coach and the client; as we remember the methods we shared, apply them, and add new ones to our bag, we continue to enrich ourselves. What keeps our enthusiasm for life continuous is our curiosity and excitement about life.
